Hey there Stranger..

Bay and I enjoying some QT @ the beach.

It's been awhile.

I know, I know.

I've even received a few phone calls to make sure I was alive.

I'm alive.

Barely.

To be honest,

this past year has been rough for me.

For a couple reasons.

One of those reasons is

my health.

Am I dying?

No, well, yes, someday right?

I hope this doesn't scare ya but you know we are all gonna go one day, right?

I have had a ton of health mysteries.

From my surgery in Jan.

to

a possible celiac scare

to

a long drawn out way to find out I had

a staph infection.

MIS-ER-ABLE!

To now...

I still have no answers.

I'm still sick,

being tested (in more ways than one)

for what it could be now.

On yet another round of

meds.

4 to be exact.

I'm utterly exhausted.

My body

spirit

mind

soul

wants to quit.

And all I can think about is

dying.

I know it sounds so morbid.

But when you have been sick for

a

straight

YEAR

then maybe you can come correct

and challenge that.

Until then, just listen.

I also think a ton about my mom.

Then I feel like a total baby.

Like suck it up sister,

you mom was sick

for years.

And years.

So then I do.

Suck it up!

Or at least I try.

And go cry in the privacy of my own bathroom,

being quiet enough so the girls don't hear.

But I'm not a quiet cry 'r.

Another revelation I've had..

Your health,

your

GOOD

SWEET

PERFECT

HEALTH and those of your loved ones

is

completely

PRICELESS!

100%

And you don't even get a

chance to really truly

appreciate that

gift

really until you have been

constantly sick.

Day in, Day out.

All of these things are

floating through my head daily.

I am literally hanging in there.

Like you know when some one

says that to you,

'Just hangin in there'..

Believe them.

Because they problay really are.

By a thread.

Signing out for now..