Ok, lets talk CRAZY MOM's for just a minute. Now not the 'NO MORE WIRE HANGERS' crazy mom. More like the 'let's pretend we are in high school again and be really, really immature/gossip and then ignore everything altogether' crazy mom.
'Bless their hearts', as my great Grama Ruby would say, in her Oklahoma accent. Sometimes saying 'Bless their hearts' is like saying they are 'Beauties' too. It's a term thrown around this house a lot. Sounds like a term of endearment but really it means the exact opposite. Marinate on that for a second.
Anyway, I have had a very interesting year with one such mother. The story is quite sad but I guess I'm throwing it out there to make sure, that I'm not that Whack-a Doo, at the end of the day,I guess? Imagine that right? HA!
There were many red flags throughout the year with this particular woman. Like maybe the first was the FB post she threw up one day calling (but not naming) my daughter a mean girl while a precession of her friends began to flood her comments with things like what a crappy mom this little girl must have and someone should take this little girl out on the playground and show her 'something' mean ect. I don't know, but maybe that should have been the last chance but....in fairness.. I decided to let her know that was unacceptable, never to do that again and come and talk to me about it if there was ever a next time. In person. Like what grown ups do and I would handle it appropriately. But then again fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice, shame on me. The second time was a bit more awkward. After a scheduled play date with her daughter, Carys comes home to tell us about her time. Which included many trips to the park, alone, without parent supervision but she(the crazy mom) sent her teenage son with them for good measure. Whom I have never met. Then took the girls to a birthday party, of one of their friends, whom I also don't know while previously telling me this was a different event. There have many many other things too. But I think the final blow was a more recent incident, that I became the middle man in. I tried to stay out of it altogether but ended up getting deleted from this persons FB (THANK GOD) what a blessing in disguise. But now I'm getting the silent treatment for something that I didn't do. I've tried reaching out but get no response.
So here is the question.... when our children enter school, motherhood becomes a different playing field. How do we adapt to the new game and rules, while still maintaining some self respect and playing fair? When dealing with a grown adult, who becomes unreasonable, rude, childish,disrespectful, the list goes on, where do you draw the line, while still keeping the peace. I mean, this family will be around for years to come and I, as a mother, don't want my daughters life to be a living hell at school with this parent or child. The old me wanted to take her out to the playground and handle it like I was back in high school. Only a small part, but a part nonetheless. But most of me, really truly, just wanted to resolve it. Clear it up privately, which I offered, and be done with it. The older I get, the more I would rather just get it out and over with. Mind you, this woman is at least 5/10 years my senior. Which is even more disappointing.
This whole situation has bothered me so much but I know that I have made my place known. I remain open and willing to talk but still am baffled by the response or rather, lack there of.
So what do you do my friends? How do we get along on and off the playground? Should the expectation of parents be to actually act like adults?
Are we doomed to be Frenemies?
Am I a Whack-a-Doo?