Monday, August 13, 2012

Things change...Roll with me

I really don't know where to begin.I try and think when things change, do I remember the moment?Was there a moment? Or is it many many moments that created the change.Such is my life today.One MAJOR change rocking my tiny little space in this world right now is......Homeschooling! Oh yay, I said that dirty word.Life changing right? I bet you gasped when you read it too.Maybe you are already thinking of funny clever homeschooling jokes about how weird the kids are who (suffer) in homeschool.Am I right?!
Well friends I am here today to shed a different light on what homeschooling can be.
Cheesy,yes but so very true.
I have heard mom's say the most awful things about kids that are schooled at home,my friends included.We are so quick to judge as mothers when we aren't in the shoes to be forced to consider other options.I want to change that.
I should start with how (I) we came to the decision of homeschooling.There were of course many factors.One of which I casually dismissed in conversation at first with Carys.She started asking last year if I would ever teach her from home.I literally laughed at loud,cracked jokes at myself on how if she thought momma was tough now,being her teacher she might be miserable.Yet,she insisted I would be fab.My little optimist,oh how I love her.Then a biggie hit our family,like many others I'm sure,and unfortunately we had to sell very first home back in AZ.It still kind of makes me sick thinking about it to this day and the residual effects from it still linger.Like the taxes,double ugggggg.So enter that as factor two. I almost feel like we were doomed since our move back to CA.I mean, don't get me wrong, things happen but our family could use a itty bitty break.At some point.So we rallied through last year and all it's financial woes and arrived in the middle of factor number three.I debated on just how to describe these next chain of events because I truly think they deserve their own post/explanation but I'll sum them up quickly.Last year was rough on Carys within her social circle at school.She was involved in a bullying incident,which she participated in and I gave her the definition of what she was doing and this crushed her.She broke away from of a couple of the girls also involved,made a change of heart and way and paid a hefty price for it.Things escalated between the girls and the moms and by the end of the school year Carys was so devastated.I was begging and bribing her to finish out the year.I now feel as though I threw her to the wolves.There were many opportunities for me as her Momma to step in and say what was right and wrong.Instead all I did was watch,give her what I believed was kind and proper dialogue to communicate and hope and pray it worked.I didn't want to be a "helicopter mom".I knew there would be things she needed to go through.This was NOT one of those times.
I failed miserably.And so did she.
And after seeing what one of the mothers was capable of,on and off campus,without consequence from the school,it became the straw that broke the camels back.
Dissapointment doesn't quite cover it.But then again it was all part of the bigger plan that was not my own from the beginning. This is where it gets better....
I should also mention that Baylie Shaye was meant to go back.So she started Monday and all is well in the land of 1st grade. Deep breathe now.
So over the summer,after much information,talking to other moms who teach from home and praying, we (I) made my decision.
But this is where once I said an internal Yes! The crazy {amazing-meant-to-be}things started happening....Follow this..
Ready? Ok....So this is how you know it's meant to be....
A year earlier I was sitting in church and passing the tithing bucket to my left and this woman next to me grabs my face and calls me by my first name.It was my kindergarden teacher.I hadn't seen her in,well,um,20 plus years.We started chatting and I found out she was still teaching at a homeschool charter school in our area.Food for thought at the time,nothing more.Nothing less.
Fast forward a year, having gone through all of the above and more that will remain unlisted for now,while vetting different homeschool programs, I find out one I am seriously looking into she (my kinder teacher)is teaching at and teaching/overseeing grade 3,Carys grade! My kinder teacher would be Carys teacher.Bonus!And the principal was my 3rd grade teacher,Double bonus.Third grade was a crazy year for me.It happened to be the first year my mom got sick,from cancer,so my parents became quite close to her and so did I.
Also our neighbors directly behind us homeschool their son who is a year older than Carys .Carys and their son,Christopher,play so well together and his mom has been such a great resource,support and encouragement throughout this process.
And finally I had a very heartfelt, lovely and encouraging meeting with Carys would be teacher this year at her former school.Sam and I were majorly bummed on missing out on her this year.But she is so available for any question I may have this year and was so understanding after chatting.So you see had these events happened any other way,I might have dug my heels in a bit more.I believe I listened and heard the needs of my daughter above my own (wants).I believe this will bring Carys and I closer and stronger together than ever before.I believe this year will grow us both in ways we can't even imagine.The peace of this major decision being made rests firmly in God's hands.Motherhood is a major trip people.It brings me to my knees on the daily and back up again the next second.I
Will try and keep you posted on the Ups and Downs,What works and doesn't and if I am still hanging in there.Ha!
Here's to homeschooling,

My sweet girl,
I promise that this will be our adventure together.
Me and you.
This is our time to grow and learn
More about each other.
I love you with my whole heart
And I want you to know that.
Really truly know.
You are beautiful
And important
And kind.
Thank you for taking this
Crazy chance with me too.
This life is so rad with you in it.

1 comment:

  1. I can't wait to hear all about it! You are going to do a great job!!